Panic attack?

Friday, I went home from work before 10 am because I was feeling extremely nauceous all morning, and I have having really bad deja vu. I never threw up or anything, and I didn't have any stomach issues besides that. My brother suggested it was a panic attack. I thought it probably wasn't because I've never had one...but then again, I kept thinking about it, and I thought he might be right.

I had some weird dreams the night before, and I hadn't gotten much sleep. Maybe I was just too stressed out from working too much. Maybe my body was telling me that I needed to finally rest. I mean, it's not like I have tons to do; I do have two jobs, but I only work the other one a couple nights a week. Sure, the girl I work with can be a little lazy, so I end up doing extra work all the time...but even so, I wouldn't think that would induce a panic attack.

I don't know, but I was glad to have the day off.... ssssh don't tell anyone. lol

Feeling left out.

Do you remember that episode of "Friends" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0583475/plotsummary) where Rachel decides to start smoking because all the good conversations happen when her co-workers are out on their smoke break?

Whether it's smoking, going to clubs, playing video games, riding motorcycles, playing raquetball, or any other thing that I'm not good at and/or don't do, I feel left out because people are hanging out and talking when I'm not around.

Come to think of it, isn't that one of the definitions of friends - someone who likes to do the same things you do? I suppose that means these people aren't my friends, but merely aquaintances. If I want to be their friend, I'll have to find an "in."

The list.

You know how there's that one person who just does it for you? Well, in order to avoid embarrassment, I won't list anyone I've actually met. LOL So here's a few actors that I just really, really like for one reason or another:

1. Josh Duhamel - not so much for his acting, but incredibly good looking to me, also looks a lot like someone I know who I think is cute ;)

2. Eric Dane - He's what I'd call YUMMY (ha!), plays a great character on "Grey's Anatomy", and he ROCKS the grey!

3. Leonardo DiCaprio - obviously attractive, but his attitude towards politics and the environment is quite appealing, and he's made some great career choices. I'll ignore the fact that he likes to date models. haha

4, 5. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Javier Bardem - They definitely look alike. Tall, dark, handsome.

6, 7. Neil Patrick Harris, Jonathan Groff - both have musical theater background, incredibly talented singers, do a great job of appealing to the ladies, which makes them a great actor in my book, since they are both gay. lol

8. Freddie Prinze, Jr. - "She's All That." I was 15 when that movie came out, and I have loved him ever since. :)

9. Adam Levine - He reminds me SO much of the "antichrist" I was talking about in my last post. I just find him incredibly sexy; maybe it's because of his music, maybe because he has amazing abs, maybe it's just because he's proven himself to be loyal. MMMMMmmm.......

The bad boy.

So I was listening to the local pop radio station this morning, and they were discussing how some girls always fall for the "bad boy." She was saying that her friend had tried to date nice guys, but that she always says they are boring. The problem is, the bad boy always ends up breaking her heart. They also talk a lot about the "dating anti-christ", meaning, the person who you always end up with, but ends up making you feel bad about yourself, or you always end up fighting with and breaking up with over and over again.

Well, I'm sorry to say, but I can speak from experience. There's someone that does that for me. We only dated for a short time, and that was YEARS ago, and from time to time, I will get back in touch with him. EVERY time I fall back "in love." I use that loosely, though, because I really don't know him that well...but whatever he's got, I want it. haha And what's silly is that I know he doesn't like me in the same way, but I really, REALLY want him to.

http://youtu.be/46zhI-JUN8Q

Remember the old days when...

Awkward and sad situations truly do SUCK, but I am so glad to be rid of them. Maybe if I wasn't single, it would be different. All I know is, I have put up with people's bull&^*# as much as I can, and I am NOT going there anymore.